we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I puked a lego.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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