I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
