I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize