office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
