i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
