Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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