Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
