Sry I called you an 8
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
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