i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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