Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
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he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
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Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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