Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
