READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
