i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
