I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
