Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
