fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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