Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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