Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
