i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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