Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
