just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
