We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
