well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
