I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
