were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
