Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
