How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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