I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
