I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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