We won't sleep together?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
