your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
