I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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