I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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