Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
