K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
