He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
