if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
