you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
