$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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