I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
