i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
