You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
