Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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