I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
