I love black thongs
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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