Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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