So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
only you would photoshop your dick
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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