You work out of a Hotel?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
