So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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