508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
