i don't like sucking hair
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Found the puke drawer
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
