I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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