just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
