..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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