new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
All I want is dick and wine.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize