You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you inspire me to be a worse person
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
