Nicole vs. Life
I just threw up on my dentist
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
