Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
