Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
