I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
420 ftw
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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