In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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