he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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